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Crucifixion

by John Egenes

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    Feel free to help yourself to any and all music here on my Bandcamp site. If you feel the urge to pay something for it, that's fine. I appreciate it very much, but it certainly isn't required nor expected. Thanks for listening. --john
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1.
A pencil and paper and a cold cup of coffee in a little Texas café lines on the page lost in the distance memories of yesterday waitress looking for a ticket to freedom she’s got a “come on” look in her eye a road never traveled is a chance never taken opportunity passing you by Down a west Texas highway, your life in a song and you make it all up as you go along You write down the stories of people around you the songs that you see in their eyes you're livin' a two lane blacktop existence it’s a poor man’s version of paradise But it’s paradise lost, with liberties taken and a price that you’ll have to pay a road musician’s life forsaken for the chance to spend one more day On a west Texas highway, your dreams by your side and the songs that you write along for the ride and you cast your lot with the traveling kind searching for something you’ll never find , you’ll never find It’s all about trying to get where you’re going and places you don’t want to go so you find yourself following lines down the highway out where the bluebonnets grow On a west Texas highway, with the wind in your hair and the call of the backroads keeping you there On a west Texas highway, that’s where you belong where you can hear the coyote singing your song he’s singing your song
2.
A lonesome town with a lonesome feeling full of lonesome souls in a lonesome town got no floor, got no ceiling just the crumbling walls of a lonesome town This city street goes in one direction but it ain’t the way you want to go so you stop and stare, at the intersection of the things you want and the things you know And you see someone, you want to make connection in the passing storm you never catch their eye so you stumble off in the wrong direction and you’ve got no friends, you wonder why The wind blows cold, and the rain comes down try to find a friend in a lonesome town. This life you have isn’t what you wanted like lady luck in a long black gown the sidewalk’s cold, and the streets are haunted by the ghosts who live in a lonesome town And if you could, would you take your freedom and leave the loneliness behind and the memories, would you still need ‘em if you could change your life, would you change your mind The queen of hearts has given up her crown and the life she lived in a lonesome town the queen of hearts has given up her crown and the life she lived in a lonesome town
3.
Last night I dreamed I was up on a cross right beside Jesus of Galilee hanging around like an albatross out on a limb for the world to see I turned and asked the Bohemian “Are you here because of your Christianity?” he said, “I’m not a Christian, I’ve never been one I’m only a part of humanity” He said, I’m bound for other places gonna break the ties that bind but I’ll take the things that I know I will need and leave the rest behind leave the rest behind I saw people from everywhere gathered below one congregation down there on the ground mysteries forgotten a long time ago stars in the heavens, spinning around I saw two silhouettes in the dark of the night with fire in their eyes and blood on their sleeves one on his left, and one on his right I watched as he turned and spoke to the thieves You can let your love escape you you can let yourself be blind or you can take the things that will heal your heart and leave the rest behind leave the rest behind There were Baptists and Buddhists and Mormans and Lutherans Quakers and Catholics and Hindus and Anglicans Muslims and Jews and Native Americans Wiccans and Pagans and New Age Aquarians He said, I’m going to tell a story when I’m through I hope you’ll find you can take the things that surround you with love and leave the rest behind take the things that surround you with love and leave the rest behind leave the rest behind, son leave the rest behind
4.
We had a fight (He tried to sneak in at a quarter to four) Late one night (And she was waiting when he opened the door) I heard her shout (She saw the lipstick and smelled the perfume) She threw me out (She grabbed a knife and chased him out of the room) I ended up on the lawn, with just the clothes I had on Better luck next time I had no dough (He was desperate, and up to no good) No place to go (And he would do the only thing that he could) I planned a job (He stood in line and read the words that he wrote) A bank to rob (He pulled a gun and gave the teller the note) I grabbed the cash and turned around, a policeman knocked me down Better luck next time better luck…. (He dropped the gun) They tied my hands and they sealed my fate (He couldn’t run) Collecting interest at their usual rate (Nowhere to go) Next thing I knew I was down on my knees, Singing, “please don’t shoot me, please Please don’t shoot me…please I copped a plea (He said a woman put him up to it all) Judge looked at me (He stood and waited for the gavel to fall) Took me away (They gave him ninety-nine years in the pen) I’m here to stay (And he ain’t ever gonna get out again) I always knew that she would be the death of me Better luck next time
5.
Julia's Song 03:48
Memories are all I have of you a faded picture on the wall helplessly I look for things to do I can turn the other way, and I can close my eyes and I can see you just the way you were and I can hold you close to me, if only in my dreams and I can make believe that you’re still here And the earth will turn, and the moon will rise and the tears will come to fill my eyes and the earth will turn, and the moon will shine and the night will break this heart of mine Lonely nights filled with troubled dreams Time paints pictures in your heart You know the past, it isn’t what it seems I was always there for you and I will always be all I ever wanted was your smile remembering how you’d take my hand, hanging onto me now I’m holding on for just a little while And the earth will turn, and the moon will rise and the tears will come to fill my eyes and the earth will turn, and the moon will shine and the night will break this heart of mine
6.
He’s a simple engineer, does the things he should he lives inside a barrel made of wood he designs the armaments for those who go to war never questions what they use them for On weekends he goes sailing in his boat out on the bay back home inside his barrel he knows it’s a happy, happy day Living in his barrel with the world outside his door every day he helps to win the war finishing his drawings, never counting up the cost or knowing what is won and what is lost News reports of fighting in a battle far away but safe inside his barrel he can have a happy, happy day Watching everybody on the outside, never ventures out into the rain doesn’t want to think about who’s responsible doesn’t see that he’s to blame Just a simple man, doesn’t have a plan just an ordinary man never gets involved with puzzles to be solved a very very ordinary man Watching from his window he’s sees the little children play but safe inside his barrel he knows it's a happy, happy day safe inside his barrel he can have a happy, happy day
7.
Muley Brown 04:02
Muley Brown rode saddle broncs like they were broke to ride with one hand on the halter rope as he marked them up the side he would laugh and cuss and call them names while they fishtailed around singing Muley, Muley Brown. Muley drove a truck back in 1943 he was pulling a set of doubles with a beat up Diamond-T but the cowboy’s life was calling him, he felt it deep inside and Muley meant to ride Muley, that horse can really fly, you almost touched the sky feel him hit the ground Muley, that horse is swappin’ ends, he just aint got no friends try and ride him ‘til the whistle sounds He rode the stock at Calgary and out in Pendleton he fought a lot of saddle broncs and often times he won then he took up riding bareback broncs and bulls for something new all around cowboy, 1952 Then Muley started drinking hard, begun to lose his grip all the other cowboys saw that he’d begun to slip he took up slack to keep that horse’s head from goin’ down and Muley hit the ground Muley, that bronc’s got ways of knowin’ just which way you’re goin’ and he’ll lose you on a turn Muley, there’s daylight on the saddle, it looks like you lost the battle oh Muley, when will you ever learn Now Muley Brown is hauling stock for the rodeo company he’s pulling a set of doubles with a beat up GMC he sold his old Association saddle for a song Muley, what went wrong Muley, them broncs’ got ways of knowin just which way you’re going’ and they’ll lose you on a turn Muley, there’s daylight on the saddle, it looks like you lost the battle singin’ Muley, when will you ever learn Muley Brown rode saddle broncs like they was broke to ride
8.
There’s a bridge across a river on a road that travels far beyond the sea where a lonely wooden soldier guards the gates of liberty and chooses who will pass and who will stay. a stranger walking on the road comes to test the keeper of the key he carries pen and paper and writes within his manuscript the questions he would ask along the way. Good morning, says the stranger, I’ve come from long ago and far away and there’s something I must ask of you, a simple inquiry, a puzzle whose solution isn’t known continue, says the soldier, I’ll listen to the things you have to say, but I’m just the keeper of the key, defender of the gate, I’m just a man whose life is not his own The stranger tells the soldier pay attention to the question that I pose he opens up the manuscript to the final page and bids the soldier, Read the words you see written on the last page of the book, in singlehanded prose if you could ask one question, a riddle to be solved pray tell, what would the question be The soldier offers up his key and says, I won’t need this anymore then he takes the strangers manuscript and turns to cross the bridge down the road that travels far beyond the sea and now his answers do not matter and his judgements will not settle up the score. for, to him, it is the question, and never its reply that ever holds the key to liberty And the autumn wind will dry the summer rains and the soldier loses everything he gains and the answer to the question that remains is just another question, it’s just another question
9.
He spends the night by the monitor light in a world he knows so well a special place where a virtual race of cyber-warriors dwells rushing in like heroin, a fix he can’t refuse he hides it all behind a firewall, in a battle he can’t lose. A midnight hacker with a password cracker, Unix is his friend breaks the code down the internet road, the server lets him in past the guard, he leaves his card for everyone to see the gambling kind with a curious mind, he’s a lot like you and me Fire over their head, put a shot in the air let ‘em hear what you’ve said and see if they care fire over their head, let ‘em know that you’re here you know the things that you’ve said are the things that they fear Media control takes its toll on the people who buy in it all comes down to the killing ground of the paper and the pen corporate greed becomes the seed for what we see and hear the hacker tries to expose the lies beneath that thin veneer Sniffers scratch the words they catch, the code comes rolling in face to face in a digital race to see which one will win security’s just a fantasy, there’s trouble on the line ain’t no slice of paradise, if the world ain’t yours and mine Fire over their head, let ‘em know that you’re here you know the things that you’ve said are the things that they fear fire over their head, you come and go like a ghost you know the things you might do are the things they fear most
10.
There’s a crack in the world, and it passes beside me I look over the edge, trying not to fall in it’s a long way from here to the end of my journey one step a a time, and so I begin In the distance I see a reflection of you, but it’s only me There’s a crack in the world, and it’s getting wider. it threatens to break my planet in two in the dark before dawn it doesn’t make any difference how hard I try to forget about you Forever, it seems, you’re on my mind, still in my dreams I look for your face in the clouds up above but I see only strangers there you’re always alone when you’re not with the one you love Somewhere there’s a place where the sun always shines there’s a song of the sea, and a butterfly flaps its wings this crack in the world makes me wish I could fly so I will sail on the wind that the hurricane brings I will sail on the wind that the hurricane brings There’s a crack in the world
11.
Morning 04:00
All by yourself at the end of the day no one to talk to, but you talk anyway the things that you’re feeling are the things that you say that you can’t repeat in the morning The pain of pretending through all of those years trying to sail down a river of tears you cry in the darkness where nobody hears and try to hang on until morning This road that you travel, it still seems so far like a vision that takes you to some distant star where the person you were is still the person you are and your dreams can come true in the morning So you pack your belongings, you make a new start you find that the leaving’s the easiest part but there’s no one to lean on, and it’s breaking your heart when you’re all alone in the morning This road that you travel, it still seems so far it’s like a vision that takes you to some distant star where the child inside you is still who you are and your dreams all come true in the morning The rivers you cross, the bridges you burn the journeys you take, from which you won’t return asking yourself, when will you ever learn the answer’s revealed in the morning
12.
I’m sittin’ on a wet log, feelin’ my pants sog sittin’ and a-watchin’ all the people go by huggin’ my bottle, trying to get myself high somehow it’s all over now. I’m just a muleskinner, drinkin’ my dinner. listenin’ to the bottle callin’ my name sittin’ and thinkin’ it just ain’t the same as it was I guess that’s what fortune does. Whiskey in the morning, should’ve been a warning the pain is getting stronger and it hurts every day it takes a little longer to take me away, from it all and now my back’s to the wall And now I’m sittin’ on this wet log, drinkin’ my eggnog oh please, brother bottle, won’t you help me today one minute you love me, then you jump in my way, oh how I wish you’d just be my pal oh how I wish you’d just be my pal

credits

released April 1, 2007

Alan Anderson: drums
Rob Burns: bass
Tom Healy: electric guitar
Terry Ebeling: harmonica
Anna Bowen: violins, fiddle
Alan Starrett: viola
Erin Johnson-Hill: cello
Paul McLennan-Kissel: percussion
Gunther Flutney: cardboard box, bass, synth, tuba
John Egenes: acoustic & electric guitars, 12 string guitar, mandolin, dobro, pedal steel, keyboards, accordion

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John Egenes Dunedin, New Zealand

Download anything you see here for free (you can pay if you want, but you don't have to...) Author, multi- instrumentalist and session musician for countless artists, producer, songwriter, all around likeable guy.

And you might want to read his book, Man & Horse: The Long Ride Across America
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